I am a stage four throat cancer survivor slipping into alcoholism. Since my illness my wife of 36 years is detached. She never prepares food. I fix one or two eggs a day. Some times I do not eat for one or three days, she never notices, No one knows. She is not concerned. I have been a good provider and husband. I am just not able now. I am scared. I have lost 142 lbs in the last year and I am afraid that I may have survived my cancer just to succumb to a vice. I cannot eat and swallow, drinking is easy. I am losing this fight. I'm 57. I find myself welcoming an early demise. I am overwhelmed, I am alone. We have two children and 4 grand children that I very deeply love. I fear that I am doomed. I just wanted to say this. I know there will be cruel remarks, it does not matter. I have lost the love of my life and my health. I have lost my purpose. I am a proud man. I served this life well, cancer stole my life. My children and Grand children love me. I just wanted to say it to someone.
Posted on 11.03.2013, 07:13:14 CET