When I was in the 5th grade, I got picked to help out in the office at lunch every other week. I sorted papers and gave ice to kids with injuries and all that helpful stuff that only a 12-year-old can do. In the office there was this huge supply closet. Now when I say huge, I mean that in every sense of the word. Everything you could ever need was in that closet. Everything. Sadly, and complying with all the rules of things one really wants, I wasn't allowed to have any of this stuff. All those wonderful fine-tipped markers, sticky tack, tape, erasers and so on.
I would never be allowed to take it for myself. One night as I was lying in my bed and fuming at the unfairness of all the stuff I would never be able to use, I had a wonderful idea. The next day when I went to school, I wore a large, baggie hoodie with a really big front pocket. When there was a brief lull in activity, I went in the supply closet, claiming I was cold. This was a valid reason to go in there and close the door because for some reason it was always sweltering in the room regardless of the temperature in the office. Once inside, I put as much stuff in my pocket as I could without it being noticeable. From there, I would just take it home with me.
I repeated this every day until I had at least one of everything, even the things I didn't need. When my friends found out, I ended up getting a menagerie of things for them, too. This continued for pretty much the entire year. No one ever found out about it, but the secretary did mention once that she had no idea where all the tape went. She thinks I was laughing at the funny little mystery that had presented itself. That couldn't have been farther than the truth. I love getting away with things.
When I was 5 years old, I got my first loose tooth and naturally wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible. I bit down hard into an apple. Regrettably, I swallowed the small piece of apple with the tooth embedded in it. My father then explained to me that it would emerge when I sat on the toilet. Over the next few days I wanted to have the tooth and tried passing it, but succeeded only while in my kindergarten. So I brought a nice, fat, brown clump to the kindergarten lady, asking her to find the tooth for me, and then I went back to playing. I confess that because of me that poor woman probably had the worst coffee break of her life.
Yesterday I found a wallet. Naturally, I tried to contact its owner, it wasn't about stealing it or anything like that. The address was there but because it was out of the way, I called the owner's bank and asked them to give the guy my number. Until noon today, the thought kept nagging at me if I shouldn't just take the cash out. It was only 45 Euros, it's not a fortune, but who couldn't make good use of it? But from the wallet I knew the owner had children and that he wasn't well-off, so I didn't do it. The phone rang today and the young man promised to come by soon. I considered once more: someone might have extracted the cash before I found the wallet. But, no, that would be a pretty shitty thing for me to do. When he came to get his wallet then, he was really unfriendly. He didn't even properly thank me. Just shook my hand and rushed off. And he didn't even look into the wallet. Fuck, I should have taken the money! Moral of the story: if someone gives you back your wallet whole, at least say thank you! Asshole!
I (w/23) share a house with 2 guys. One of them owns an espresso machine, and he makes himself this delicious coffee. I find this poser machine to expensive and use the normal, cheap coffee maker. A while ago I noticed that one of them always uses my coffee when he has visitors. Looked like he was too greedy to use his own expensive coffee. I don't mind if it happens once, but it happens all the time. Fed up with it, I grounded a laxative and mixed it into my coffee powder. The next study group ended quite abruptly. I am still smiling today when I think about. I might have over reacted, but I hate greediness.
When my wife and myself went to bed last week we started to touch each other under the blankets, kissing and hugging. I was getting really horny and thought she was feeling the same as this was clearly sexually tinted. In that same moment she says to me: I'm not interested in making love, all I want is for you to hold me. "What?" was my immediate response.
Of course she had to sue the magic words: "You just don't understand the emotional needs of a woman." I gave in and no sex was to be had that night. The next day, my wife and I went window-shopping in the city center. She tried 3 very pretty and very expensive dresses in one of the local shops. When she couldn't decide, I told her to take all 3. She looked at me like she was seeing cows fly, but, motivated by my understanding words she stated she would than also need a pair of new shoes, which unfortunately would cost around 200 Euro. "No problem, of course" was my response.
When we passed by the jewelers department she went in and came back with a gold and diamond bracelet. You guys should have seen her. She was deliriously happy. She probably thought I was off my chuck, but she didn't care. I must have ruined her whole psychological understanding of the male when I said yes again. She was almost sexually aroused at this stage. With her prettiest smile she said: "Let's go to the check out." I had real trouble not to laugh when I said to her: "Sorry Honey, but I think I have changed my mind, I don't want to buy all this stuff after all. She turned pale at this, and even another shade paler when I added: "All I want right now is being hugged." When she was almost exploding with rage and hatred I added, as the final strike: "You really don't understand the financial needs of a man, don't you?"