Facebook, one of the Internet's most fundamental stalking tools, plays a key role in this sin of mine. A few days ago, a person who had practically been my stalker at one point went out of her way to start a conversation with me over Facebook. While chatting, I looked up her profile and saw the gist of what was going on in her life. She was 20 years old, married to a trucker, horribly obese, a mother, and apparently unfaithful. On her wall, her husband had posted something that went along the lines of "I am posting this on my wife's wall so that all you a**holes like Nick and others realize that I can find out about my wife's unfaithfulness. If you want her, you can contact me on Facebook and I will give you the address to my house. You can come pick her up, but if you take her then there is no bringing her back."
So here I am, chatting with this ridiculously pathetic human being whose husband didn't even want her, and do you know how I feel? Fantastic. Because I love seeing how other people are just wasting their lives while I keep being more and more successful. Their failure only gives me strength. And since I really couldn't care less about the welfare of this girl that I was talking to, I commented on her husband's wall post which pointed out her infidelity. I said "Hahahahaha...oh man. You're seriously worried about other guys wanting to get a piece of that heap of disgusting flesh that you call a wife? Dear God. How low an example of man must you be to want to commit adultery with such a cow. I would try to convince you that it's only blind leprous wretches that you would have to worry about, but...well, who am I to be optimistic about the kind of guys that would associate with your precious spouse. But if that is the case and someone is idiot enough to run off with her, I would consider myself the luckiest man alive if I were you. Hasta luego." So really, I've two sins to confess. 1) I take pleasure in watching the misfortune of others and 2.) I get a blissful release by telling people off who do or do not deserve it, which merely reinforces the first sin. It's good to be bad, am I right?
I must confess, I'm a precocious liar.
I lie for the sport of lying. Just to know that I can, that I'm good at it.
I take pride in lying, and will often tell the stupidest lie I can fathom just to see if I can.
I've gotten quite good.
Take for example my scar. I have a scar on my right arm from a childhood burn.
I have told so many stories, ranging from "I got shot" to "Nothing", however, there is one that I'd like to share.
I was with a girl at the time, she considered me to be very handsome for some reason and wanted to pursue a relationship. She caught glimpse of my arm and asked what happened. I proceeded to tell her that when I was a young man I was violently raped in my arm by a large knife wielding man, This of course never happened but she believed every bit of it and in return pleased me behind a 7/11.
Last summer I was on the road with a buddy in his convertible. I was way drunk, because earlier I'd inhaled several beers. The roof was down and the "Pirates of the Caribbean" song was playing loud. And he also still had his little son's pirate hat lying in the car. As we stopped at a red light, a police car was behind us. Just for laughs, I put on the hat, unlatched the seat belt, stood up and yelled "This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow" and started laughing. Well, the policemen didn't think it was quite as funny. They waved us over and my buddy took the hit. Since then I'm not allowed to ride along anymore.
I (w/29) am stewardess by profession. Prior to every start, I have to announce that the passengers please remain seated, use the safety belts, don'€™t get up etc. having to say this since years, and being totally fed up with saying the same thing every time, I tend to add a cultivated 'you dickheads' at the end of my speech and after switching off the microphone. Unfortunately I mistook the volume button for the stop button one day, so everybody could hear my nice addition. My face turned bright red straight away and I felt deeply ashamed, even though no-one could see me. I didn't dare to bring drinks and snacks around the plane afterwards, I was afraid people would recognize my voice. My colleagues laughed at me, a few looked appalled, and I had the idea that people were regarding me with surprise. I am glad there were no reports on this, I'd be looking for another job today.
When I was about 10 years old, I went on holiday to my cousin in France. They are all catholic and keep running to church. I had to come and really hated it. So one day, before a Sunday mass, I poured blue ink into the holy water. Half of the church goers had blue spots in their faces before anyone noticed. My cousin was suspecting me immediately, but couldnâ€™t prove it. I do regret the silly prank today, but it was funny!