When I was 12, I used to pick on this on kid named griffin we were friends, but things got a little out of hand.Then one day I realized, I crossed the line I made him look like a fool in front of the whole class and I sorta feel bad, because the next day he said, he tried to commit suicide, but then his parents was able to stop him. I was really sorry I picked on him.
Okay so, I'm a Christian.
I don't go to church every Sunday, or whenever there are holy occasions. I don't pray when I wake up, before I eat, or even before I sleep. I only know a few prayers credits to my classmates who are religious. These things that I do, are the worst ever.
I was born in a family that doesn't really appreciate accepting the existence of God, or simply the Church. I could definitely say that we are evil. Probably accomplices of evil. I could also definitely say that we are a broken family. It's hard for me to express my feelings and love to my family. It's hard to communicate with them. It's hard to greet my family on their birthdays, or in family occasions, or Mother's Day, Father's Day, or whatsoever. It's hard to tell them what I did at school, even when they ask. I just say "Just cool." and then nod. Deep down, I've got a lot of things to say it's just that I have the deepest secret that I must not tell, but I am going to tell it now, because of the fact that this is an anonymus post of which I will be taking advantage of.
I am a transgender. I am born female, but I'm male. Honestly, this is not a psychological problem, this is biologically speaking. I know I've been male since I was young.
My Father told me a story that when I was young, I indirectly told him that I was a boy. Around 5 - 6 years young, I was getting ready for school. Dad prepared by uniform, and told me to wear it, which was paired with a skirt. I told him I'd look gay if I wore it, because I'm a boy.
I guess it all sparked whenever my Dad told me I was a boy, and that I have to take care of the family whenever he'd go to work Pretty blunt Dad huh? I think he could definitely sense this manliness in me that I'm trying to hide. Honestly it makes me happy whenever he teases me, "You're a boy, why are you wearing those clothes?". I'd reply back "What the heck are you talking about Dad?! I'm a girl!". The latter really is a lie.
By the way, I've got an older sister, and it's only the two of us so yeah. I bet he's really in a need of a boy in the family... Asian stuff kind of thinking I'm 16, and my sister will be 18 soon.
Until now, I've been wearing "not so" girly clothes. Just normal I guess? I'm thinking of finishing college, and just travel the world, which was basically leaving the house, and probably won't be back until I've "changed" myself into the person that I'm supposed to be.
Yes Sister, Dad, Mom, Grannys, Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, Classmates, Schoolmates, Neighbors, Passbyers, People all over the world, Angels, Saints and God, I have greatly sinned.
I (f) am 33 years old and work as a German and History teacher in a grammar school in Germany, which, named after a famous German writer, specializes in languages. Sounds great, but it actually means nothing. The school is hardly different from any other, apart from maybe the technology facilities. In every unassuming room hangs a Smart board, which many of my older colleagues can't get to grips with. The boards can't be used without the technology, so if the technology fails, the teaching is pure improvisation. What's the use in all this apparently helpful technology and the Net books for IT classes? This school is in a sink estate. I have nothing against foreign pupils or students from poorer backgrounds, but even the younger years take a dim view of learning. Nobody wants to do homework, study, or even just listen, let alone take part. The higher up the school you go, the percentage of students who have to repeat a year increases. I have to answer questions like "what does reinforce mean?" coming from 16 year-olds. Recently, a girl in year 8 asked if Europe was a continent!
I am driven to despair by my job. The parents shift the blame onto the teachers for bad grades, the teachers lose their drive, and each year, the students get more and more stupid. They know how to use the Smart board, but they have no idea whether the Weimar Republic (which was a liberal democratic republic in Germany) was a dictatorship or not. Once, I was so pissed off, that I threw a piece of cucumber at a pupil. I was extremely embarrassed, but it was generally assumed that I was joking. I just can't see why I should waste my time preparing an interesting, varied lesson for a bunch of primitive apes that aren't capable of concentrating for more than five seconds. So this is what I have done, although it upsets me, because I didn't study for years to do this: have intentionally become every pupil's nightmare. I give out homework every day; I force the children to stand up when I come into the classroom. As soon as anyone speaks out of turn, that pupil goes straight outside and gets a "D" whoever hasn't finished their essay or presentation gets a letter to their parents. I know that instilling fear isn't the best way to teach, but lately it has been wonderfully quiet. I carefully read finished homework without getting into a fuss. I think I'll carry on torturing the pupils a while longer, and when they have internalized their good behaviour, I will be a bit more lenient. When I was at school, I liked those teachers most, and I learnt best from them.
I absolutely hate being a parent. It's been the most disappointing and useless experience of my life. Mothers are not supposed to feel like this. I do a great job and nobody knows, but I hate this job. I don't want to be a mother anymore. I'm ready to be myself. I'm so overjoyed all my kids are almost grown I scream loud enough for God hear. I am proud of them all for who they are despite my lack of true love. I'm tired, mad and sad after over 20 years of parenting.
Since my father won the lottery a few years ago (and he always had plenty of money as a lawyer), my sister (29) and I (25) receive €2,500 a month from him. He told us that we never have to work again if we don't want to. We'll receive the money either way. Even if he dies, everything goes to us. He invested the money so that the original winnings will never be touched and we can easily live from the interest. I'm the happiest person in the world and I will never have to work again, but that makes me feel guilty. I've enjoyed my life for years and still do today and my character hasn't changed much. Money begets money. If other poorer people win the lottery, they usually have less money than before afterwards. They don't know how to make their money grow. Despite this, I find it unfair that the poor become poorer while the rich get richer. Since I know this now, I donate €1,000 every month to the city board and to a soup kitchen. This is how I calm my conscience and I can still live well. If he should die, I would give half of my inherited winnings and start a foundation to work on projects in West Germany. There's plenty to do here.