Never again from behind. Here I want to first of all thank Peter, my buddy of many years, who has saved me from all sorts of bad situations. Shall I tell the tale? Well, sometime ago I had a girlfriend here in Bottrop (Germany), the good Vivianne. Well, yeah...the way things are, from time to time we wanted to do a little fucky-fucky. One thing I can say about myself that I'm one of the wilder ones. I'm not much into cuddly sex, where you blow sweet words into one another's ears. Nah, I'm more the type that pushes the girl's leg up behind her head, then puts on his sunglasses and puts the pedal to the metal until her eyes cross and she starts speaking Russian. As I was saying, we went at it pretty wild. Then came the change of position - now I was behind. I got wilder and wilder, it was very slippery. Some of the sounds coming from the good lady were pretty funny. Well, yes, I pressed on, always faster, always wilder. Then the accident happened: under the spell of my sexual exertions, I slipped out of her vagina and banged with the same amount of force and under the same expectation for moist happiness straight into the poor woman's rectum. I heard the lady's short, loud grunting, when I realized that my whole foreskin had been ripped away. I held old Johnson really tight, blood was spurting all over. I ran to the bathroom, wiped the blood off, but it kept coming. The whole foreskin was suspended from a single small string of flesh. I got dizzy - what to do? Peter! I rang the good Peter out of bed. PETER? PLEASE COME OVER FAST, MY COCK HAS EXPLODED!
Fifteen minutes later Mr. Good was at the door to drive me to Marien Hospital. The emergency room already was full of people with various other ailments. My noodle hurt so bad that I had to walk with my legs spread apart. Everyone looked at me baffled. Peter held me up. I rang the bell at the reception desk until the nurse appeared. GOOD EVENING, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? AHH...I'VE GOT AN OUCH THERE. WHERE? WELL, DOWN THERE. WHERE, ON YOUR LEG? Man, I can't explain what happened, the other patients are already looking funny. I BROKE MY TOOL!!!!! The nurse called straightaway to the Urology Department. Over into the elevator...right into the examination room. Three doctors took a look Mr. Jack Hammer. Oh, how did that happen? Then I had to tell the whole story. Peter was waiting outside. They thought for sure we were a couple of fairies who had just fucked. Man, was I ashamed. First, they cleaned my noodle. The doc said: SO, YOUNG FELLA, IT'S GOING TO BURN A LITTLE. AAAHHHHHHHH!!! Ow...it really did burn. I wanted to die. I asked for a full-body anesthesia...but the doc nixed my pleas for mercy. He said...YOU'VE ALREADY LOST TOO MUCH BLOOD, AN ARTERY IS TORN, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE DONE WITHOUT ANESTHESIA. What artery? My Jack Hammer has an artery? Oh, that's why the saying goes, “you think with your dick.” Others have an artery in the head, I have one in the dick. Oh, well. WHAAAAAAAAAAT? No anesthesia? What's going to have to be done? WE HAVE TO STITCH UP THE ARTERY...THEN WE'LL MOVE THE FORESKIN BACK WHERE IT BELONGS. OR DO YOU WANT US TO JUST CIRCUMCISE YOU? Help...here one just wants to make his girlfriend happy and an hour later he's almost a half-Muslim with a sliced-off foreskin. Meanwhile, the room had filled with 8 people. Some nurses suddenly stood around me, they were all amused. I lifted my fingers in the V-for-Victory sign and said: WELL, GIRLS... EVERY-THING OK WITH YOU? Not true...I didn't say anything. I was ashamed. For a long time nothing happened...I just lay there on the stretcher like an idiot, while those present talked about some kind of shit. Suddenly the door opened. The chief cock doctor had arrived. After a short head bob from the good man the whole crew came over to me and suddenly held me down. Each of them had a hold of some piece of me. One of them actually propped himself up with the of his hand on my head. HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? A green cloth was wrapped around my abdomen, it had a hole in the middle that my noodle peeked out from. No trace of manly power...plain and simply, a shriveled wreck looked out from the green cloth. But why are they all holding me down? Then I suddenly saw the NEEDLE. Oh, God...please, no, needles freak me out. The doc took the little, bleeding sausage in hand and positioned the needle for the stitch. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! The first stitch went fully into the lower part of the glans. He sowed my artery together. In total he needed 6 stitches. I had really severe pain. I damned all of womanhood. Never again will I fuck, I yelled, over and over again. So, artery sealed tight again. Now it was the foreskin's turn. Constantly, as I write this, I hold my pipi tight, as the recollection of this drama is still very intense. I will not forget each and every one of those stitches. How the thread would get pulled through the lower part of the glans. Again and again. Again and again. Anybody who gets horny over this should probably check in with a doctor or a self-help group, just mentioning that in passing. Well, at some point the doctor then said, FINISHED. I got a neat wound around my wang and then the doc gave me a few packets of chamomile wash, that I was to use three times daily. Then I left the treatment room, found Peter still waiting by the door. I greeted him with a cool “AWW, THEY JUST TOOK A LOOK - WASN'T BAD, DUDE.”
Thanks to the Urology department of the Marien Hospital Bottrop. you were a blast – for my blaster. The day's crowning moment came as follows: I was at home, letting water run into a bowl into which I was supposed put the chamomile potion. Numbskull that I am, I naturally forgot to test the temperature with my finger. Bang, noodle freed of the bandage and bang, laid it into the boiling soup. AAAAAHHH!!! The poor noodle got crazy red and looked like it was ready to fall off. My face was nothing but pure pain. As I then somehow was lying in bed, it pulsated something mighty down there...I was really glad then that at some point I did fall asleep. Oh, yeah, good Vivianne experienced considerable pain in the rectum and swore at me, calling me an inconsiderate screwer who couldn't control himself. Well, I did excuse myself. That was 3 years ago. Now I just have cuddly sex and breathe sweet words into girls' ears. And I hope it's clear to everyone why ass out of the question is for me.
Posted on 01.12.2004, 05:34:18 CET
Place: Bottrop, Germany