Back when I was around fourteen, my best friend got her first "boyfriend." According to her, he was Mr. Wonderful, he lived in the city, he was 17, and he was super cute. Yeah yeah. Well, what I began noticing after a few weeks of her "relationship" was that 1.) I'd never met/seen the kid before, and 2.) every time I'd go to her house, she would have "just hung up with him" and would never let me speak with him. After a while, I started secretly catching her in lies. After about two months of this, I had completely convinced myself that he was made up, and after a while, I found out that I'd been right, though she still wont admit it. Her first kiss, her first time, everything had been a lie! Why on earth would she think I would care If she was still a virgin? Her "relationship" lasted roughly 10 months, which is a long time for a real relationship for a fourteen year old, but I suppose that if only one person exists in the relationship, you can do whatever you want. She still doesn't know that I know.
I would like to confess that I hate going shopping with my girlfriend. There's this one thing in particular: she won't tie up the plastic bags she puts vegetables in, because she thinks the cashier would then weigh the air that's in the bags, too, and that the supposed extra weight would cost her more. Even my explanation that, if the air was being weighed it would tip the scale all the time, falls on deaf ears. Let it be understood that she is very intelligent and in many ways much sharper than your average Joe, but this life-skill naiveté drives me batty.
After a night out my girlfriend and I snuck into her room in her parents house. It's right next to her parents bedroom. We had sex and tried to be as quiet as possible as usually I don't stay overnight. I was just taking her doggy style, and she was about to cum, when her head hit the wall quite loudly a couple of times. Her parents must have heard something cause all of the sudden they were standing in the room, gawking at us with sleepy faces. We really did not know what to hide or cover first. The image of me, taking their daughter doggy style must have been burnt into their brains for ever.
When my wife and myself went to bed last week we started to touch each other under the blankets, kissing and hugging. I was getting really horny and thought she was feeling the same as this was clearly sexually tinted. In that same moment she says to me: I'm not interested in making love, all I want is for you to hold me. "What?" was my immediate response.
Of course she had to sue the magic words: "You just don't understand the emotional needs of a woman." I gave in and no sex was to be had that night. The next day, my wife and I went window-shopping in the city center. She tried 3 very pretty and very expensive dresses in one of the local shops. When she couldn't decide, I told her to take all 3. She looked at me like she was seeing cows fly, but, motivated by my understanding words she stated she would than also need a pair of new shoes, which unfortunately would cost around 200 Euro. "No problem, of course" was my response.
When we passed by the jewelers department she went in and came back with a gold and diamond bracelet. You guys should have seen her. She was deliriously happy. She probably thought I was off my chuck, but she didn't care. I must have ruined her whole psychological understanding of the male when I said yes again. She was almost sexually aroused at this stage. With her prettiest smile she said: "Let's go to the check out." I had real trouble not to laugh when I said to her: "Sorry Honey, but I think I have changed my mind, I don't want to buy all this stuff after all. She turned pale at this, and even another shade paler when I added: "All I want right now is being hugged." When she was almost exploding with rage and hatred I added, as the final strike: "You really don't understand the financial needs of a man, don't you?"