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Turkey, Anyone? (00000477)
1 comments
2.7/5 (175 Votes)
One day my mom made me mad because she wouldn't leave me alone. So I picked up a knife, and slit her throat. She didn't die, and immodestly so I repeatedly stabbed her in the heart. I soon chopped her to pieces and fed her for Thanksgiving dinner. I buried her remains underground.

Posted on 04.06.2013, 06:07:40 CET
The Mountain of Snow (00000240)
0 comments
2.9/5 (71 Votes)
After the first heavy snowfall in North Rhine-Westphalia, the sidewalks were overflowing with snow and the roads were barely passable. An old man that lives roughly across from me has the annoying habit to roll backwards extremely slowly out of his garage while blowing his horn so he doesn't hit any of the pedestrians that are out Saturdays or Sundays at 7:30 am. The fact that other people might be annoyed or woken by this doesn't bother him. He also takes shoveling the snow a little too seriously. He blocked in my parents' car in the front and the back with snow badly enough that they couldn't drive it. We left a friendly note that said it was enough to shovel a path roughly wide enough for a stroller on the sidewalk because the cars had to be able to move too. His reaction was a peevish, "The snow has to go somewhere". I have to also say that our sidewalks are very wide so there is even more space for the cars. The old man completely shoveled everything instead of leaving the snow at the edges of the sidewalk Two weeks later, when I wanted to drive to training, it was my car's turn. No matter how long and hard I tried to clear the snow, I couldn't get out of the parking space. On the sidewalk side, he piled the snow all the way up to the door handle. This could not go unpunished. The night of the following day, Three friends and I took four snow shovels and a wheelbarrow and we made a huge pile of snow right in front of his garage. Almost all the snow from the entire street was in front of the door stacked six feet high. The small side door I left free, of course, so he could come outside and check out the pile. But this is the best part. On Christmas morning, the city snow plow came and added to our pile until there was a huge mountain of snow because the guys thought it would be appreciated. I couldn't help but laugh. I'd never seen such a large mountain of snow before! I still feel guilty because the mountain was so big after the help of the snow plow that it was weeks until the gentleman could get out of his garage.

Posted on 21.01.2013, 08:21:49 CET
Christmas "Shopping" (00000134)
1 comments
2.7/5 (186 Votes)
When I was in the 6th grade, the day before thanksgiving, my brother, his girlfriend, and I all went to this store to get some things for our family. Kind of early Christmas shopping. But we had no intentions of "shopping." We all got in the car with our purses and my brother had his jeans with huge pockets. It wasn't my first time stealing. I had done it plently of times before that. Never got caught or anything, so I guess you could say I was a little bit cocky. My brother was telling me how everyone gets caught at some point. But I was like, "naaah, not me." That night I forgot to bring my purse, but I wasn't gonna let that ruin my fun. So I took one of the store's purses and put a lot of stuff in it. As soon as we left the store, a cop ran out of the store and told me to stop where I was. Well, out of habit, I ran as fast as I could. But this wasn't one of those fat, donut eating cops. This one caught up to me, and I eventually stopped. He took one thing out of my purse and then gave the purse back. I got to keep everything else. He let me off with 6 months of probation and a phone call home. All I got was grounded though. And the very next day, I was off at the mall stealing again. But I haven't done it in forever. I have no regrets either.

Posted on 21.11.2011, 01:47:47 CET
Place: Hope Mills, NC, USA
Precocious Insights (00000057)
1 comments
2.8/5 (118 Votes)
Because of an oversight on my older brother's part, at the age of seven I got to see my first porn video. Unfortunately, I drew the wrong conclusions from it: I thought a child comes from a man peeing into one of a woman's two "holes." Weeks later it was Christmas and the annual family feast. At table, my aunt, conversing with my mother, said that she wanted another child but couldn't quite seem to make it happen. I saw a chance to show off my knowledge and asked my aunt in front of everybody why my uncle couldn't manage to piss into her.

Posted on 16.08.2009, 11:20:39 CET



4 Sins (Kategorie Christmas).



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