When I was 10 years old, my parents and I took a vacation in Turkey. Every evening, the hotel we stayed at put on a little show for the children. While my parents and I watched, a superhero was fighting a villain. The Turkish puppeteers did a terrible job of putting on the show. As predicted, the villain hurt Superman so badly that he lay there on the ground, unconscious. All the children were now told to come on the stage and touch Superman in the right spot in order to bring him back to consciousness. All the other children touched him on the forehead, the chest and the stomach and nothing happened. Because my parents had forced me to go up, I hit him in the balls, which woke him up immediately. The other children were jealous, because I'd found the right spot. My parents of course didn't think it all that good and sent me to Superman after the show, and I had to apologize.
This summer, I (m) wanted to fly off to vacation with a couple of former school buddies. I kept asking and asking when we would all drive to the travel agent together to book it. They kept giving me vague answers, that sometime, soon, we would. When I then asked them about it again at one point, they told me that they'd already booked 2 weeks before – just for the two of them. They "supposedly" had forgotten to tell me. Fine. Right away the next day I drove alone to the travel agent and was still able to book something for myself. Booking a single cost about 300-400 Euros more. Same flight there, but a different hotel and return flight than those two fools.
Now they have the nerve to ask if I can give them a ride to the airport on the day of departure. The plane will be taking off shortly before 5 a.m, which means that there will be no trains running. It's about a two hour drive to the airport, and the pair lives 25 km in the opposite direction. When I raised the subject of gas money, all I heard from their side was, "Can't you make an exception? We're really short of cash. Please, we don't have any other way to get to the airport." I was already boiling inside, but I answered: "Well, all right, I won't be a hard ass about it." I hope they don't find their own transportation – I've had enough of their shenanigans, and I'm not going to play the fool any longer. That's why I'm not going to pick them up, but let them stand around at home while I drive to the airport alone. I'm hoping they miss the flight. If they ask why, I'll simply say "I forgot."
My girlfriend was on a ski vacation. Back from it, I soon found out, that gotten it on with a guy. Thanks to Facebook, I had the guy's name relatively quickly. Confronted with it, everything was confessed, also that the rat was married. My confession: I send him a bouquet of flowers at home through Fleurop, hoping that his wife would get it. On the card was everything that the swine had been up to. Oh, yes, she did actually receive the bouquet!
The hotel on last weeks holiday in L.A. serves it's guests their dinner on walking buffet.
Unfortunately, only one bottle of ketchup is available for all the tables. There is always a long line. Typically, when it was my turn to use the ketchup, the bottle was empty and I had to open a new one. It was one of those bottles where you have to remove a security film before the ketchup squirts out through the opening. While I'm busy opening the bottle I overhear the guy behind me saying to his girlfriend: "That idiot should hurry up, it takes so long, unbearable." He probably never thought of the fact that I could be from Germany too. Once started, he kept going making nasty remarks; eventually he started giving out about my beard. I maintain a 3 days beard which I treasure highly.
This was topping it, I almost lost it and really wanted to kick his ass. With effort, I could control myself; I really did not want any trouble with the police in the United States.
So, after having opened the bottle successfully, I directed the opening sneakily into his direction and hit the bottle as hard as I could. Most of the ketchup contained in the bottle splashed over him, from head down to his belt. He looked like he saw cows climbing trees and I really had to refrain from laughing, saying: " Oops, this idiot should have paid more attention". At this point his girlfriend started laughing really hard and I walked away. I felt a bit sorry having lost control after all and descending down to his level, but I did enjoy the action.