When I (w) lived in my first apartment in my early 20s, I had a neighbor. An older bachelor, nothing remarkable. Only his extremely loud snoring drew my attention. The walls in this house were very thin and his bedroom apparently backed on to mine, so the noise from next door was often really noticeable. One day in the discount shop on the corner there was no more still water left, only sparkling, which I drank out of necessity. The next night I woke up thirsty and drank a lot of water, whilst the neighbor was busily snoring away again. Suddenly an incredible monster burp popped out of me. A booming roar, louder than I had ever experienced. At that moment the grunting abruptly stopped on the other side of the wall. I had actually burped the old man awake. I bet he never got woken up by a woman like that. When we next met at the garbage room he looked at me quite strangely. I dedicate this little story to the portion of the male population who do not want to believe that women do the same things as men. Honestly boys, how do you imagine the female organism to work? Yes, I confess that I burp and fart often and gladly, when I am alone. When something is in the pipeline, so to speak, no matter what direction, then out it comes. Just as nature intended, and you feel much better straight away!
When I was 12 years old, I had this neighbor that always told my parents when I misbehaved behind their backs. I hated that neighbor so much, and wanted my revenge. So, I started putting bags of dog poop in his mailbox. I did it for 3 weeks until finally, I decided to do something more extravagant. I attempted to put dog poop in his mailbox then setting it on fire while it was in there. The fire burned his mailbox down. When asked about it, I said I seen some kid from down the street do it. I'm 24 and I still have never told anyone that it was actually me who did it.
I confess that people who ride all over with their scooters and mopeds really upset me, especially in the spring and summer. I have to explain that I live right on the main street in a small town. After a strenuous work week, I look forward to sleeping in on the weekends, but apparently this is too much to ask. Some people ride scooters at the most unlikely hours. Many of you have probably heard loud scooters before, but the ones here are doctored and extremely loud because it's some kind of trend to manipulate the exhaust of these things to get noticed. Since I know which people use these scooters (16-18 year olds) and they drive around at the crack of dawn, I simply gave the police an anonymous tip. Today, they really stood near my house and controlled all of the scooter riders. I laughed to myself when a driver was nabbed. It's their own fault. If I rode one of these things, I would have the decency to not be so loud.
We have tenants that we rented an apartment to who haven't paid rent in three months. But besides that they're also insolent and threaten us; they're loud, they lie, and they drive the water bill sky high. They don't waste any time working either. Now to the actual story: they steal our fabric softener and laundry detergent. They don't bother to buy anything anymore and they have the nerve to use our stuff. I just did something totally childish. I got really nice fabric softener, the new kind from Lenor, and I mixed it with dye powder from class. The choice between neon blue and shocking pink was really tough. They're welcome to help themselves tomorrow morning and I'm as giddy as a child.
So back when I was around 14, I hung with this girl who had a crush on me so I could get closer to her best friend, who I was extremely attracted to. This worked out very well for a while, until the girl who had the crush on me tried to make out with me. I made it very clear that I had no interest in her whatsoever, and she ran away crying. That was the last I heard of her for a few days. As it turns out, she was from a troubled home, with abusive parents. I found out she was in the hospital, when her mother found her in a bathtub with her wrists cut. I guess I pushed her off the edge, and she tried to kill herself. A year later with that girl out of the way I lost my virginity to her attractive best friend, a guilty pleasure kinda feeling. I regret nothing.