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The Pikachu Stuffed Animal (00000162)
2.9/5 (121 Votes)
I (m/30) was once visiting some friends to delete the well-known "ukash virus" from their computer. This virus disables the computer and only releases it after you pay a fee. As I was there cleaning the virus from the Windows Registry, their young daughter (7) came into the room. She had to show me something on TV. So I went with her for a minute. Pokémon was currently on. She told me that she thought Pikachu was totally cute and wanted to have it as a pet and she asked me if I knew where you could buy a Pikachu. I explained to her that Pikachu stuffed animals were sold in toy stores and that she could ask her parents if they would buy her one. She insisted, however, that she wanted a "real Pikachu." I explained to her that Pikachu only existed on TV and couldn't jump out of it. I thought nothing of it and went back to working on the computer. After two hours, I finally completely eliminated the virus from the computer and could proudly present the result. My friends were relieved that they could use the computer normally again. At that moment we heard strange noises coming from the living room. It got louder and louder and suddenly there was a crash. We went to see what had happened. The daughter had hit the LCD screen with a hammer because she wanted a "real Pikachu" from TV. She thought it was trapped in the TV and wanted to free it. I'll never forget the parents' horrified look and I was amazed by how much strength a 7 year old girl can have. I definitely learned from this experience and in the future, I'll explain to little kids exactly how a TV works. Luckily no one was hurt and they also bought a new TV.

Posted on 17.10.2012, 01:45:40 CET
Sauna lady (00000049)
2.8/5 (53 Votes)
I was on holiday with a few colleagues a couple of years ago, and we decided to visit the Sauna to see how we liked it. Lying down, being bare naked, a very hot, roughly 30 year old woman entered the room. Of course, I got the biggest hard on ever. Being embarrassed, I got up and headed for the door. The woman saw my hard on and shook her head. Being in a crowd, with my colleagues present, I was a dare devil and said to her: "Quite a sight , don’t you think. You’re responsible for that hotty!"

Thinking I'd never see her again I wanted to be funny in front of the colleagues. After summer break I had to return to school. We were getting a new teacher. Guess the woman from the Sauna was the new teacher. The shame. She gave me a queer look, but we never talked about it. I am still embarrassed when I have to talk to her in the mornings.

Posted on 22.07.2009, 09:12:29 CET
Adolescence (00000347)
2.8/5 (64 Votes)
I feel so sick with myself somewhat deep inside, and yet at the same time, I also feel that this is all right. For the sake of our identities and personal information, I will not give our actual names. My dearest friend, let's call her "Yuka (Yookah)" for now. She and I have been friends ever since Kindergarten, and have grown up as friends, going to the same school, calling each other, talking on the phone and going over each other's house up until one point in time, but I will tell you that later on. Yuka and I have both held a strong love for anime, role-playing, computers and games. I felt more strongly about anime and she felt stronger about games, though all was still the same. Yuka freaking loved animals then and she still does, as for me, I cared more for the humans for some reason. At one point I had moved and yet we still kept calling and going over each others' houses. Now let me tell you, every time we went over each others' houses, we played games in the morning and role-played at night. Now, Yuka's mom is very religious and her dad is but not so much. Her dad is like the background of the religion while most of his time is spent on games and trying to survive life. As for mine, both my parents are religious but not to the point of shoving the bible down your throat with a side of the church and the soda of your choice of holy water. Yuka's mom and my grandmother are Jehovah's Witnesses, my dad is Christian and my mom is Muslim. Me and Yuka has been both neutral yet pulling away because we both feel as though the Bible gives you such a short answer while science gives the headache worth of info backed up and back up to it. We both believed as we grew older that people should have the right to love whomever they desire, but not be not given basic human rights because of "The Leader's Religious". To me, saying someone's love choice is against your religion is like getting angry at someone for taking the last doughnut because you're on a diet. Though I am not here to preach LGBT, sorry about that, though that was just to show how Yuka and I feel about it. Yuka has always been funny, sweet, understanding, points certain views with reasonable statements, although she can be pushy, ignorant, rude, and so on. In my opinion, she is perfect. We have had fights when we were younger but we are not able to reason them out now that we are older. Now that you understand our background story and how I got this way, now I can tell you the actual problem that arisen. Halfway in life we grow a strong love for each other, hugs to kisses, to actually getting heated with each other. We had sex in our role-play, this went on for like 2 or 3 years. Sadly, we got caught by Yuka's mom when I was over at her house. Not a moment after her mom half gathered herself, there was a talk. After I left, I never went over her house and she was never able to come over to mine. My parents know nothing of what happened, I suppose she never called them to tell them. They have yet to do some actual biblical things with her besides make her read a few things in a short version of the bible. I just feel as though I am using her for sex, since we do a lot of homosexual role plays on the phone. Yuri, mostly Yaoi (If you never heard of it, research it) and they usually always turn 18 , and I type and write out fan fictions of Hetalia porn. I also usually masturbate and watch porn to go to sleep. I have no idea of my feelings for her because of her personality and how much we are alike, or just perhaps the fact I am too young to be horny.

Posted on 02.04.2013, 02:44:26 CET
Job application to an egomaniac (00000367)
2.6/5 (38 Votes)
I (m/25) graduated a few months ago and thus I began the big application process began for me. The cover letter is now called the letter of motivation, and naturally "Why do you really want to work for this company?" Obviously because it has been my dream since childhood to be able work for the leading producer of Velcro straps. This example was plucked out of thin air but I hope you all get my drift. Unfortunately this kind of fuss pervades in all companies. Of course as a businessman I wouldn't want to have any old idiot in the company and an appropriate cover letter should be a prerequisite, but sadly some personnel and department leaders are delusional. Here is an extract from a medium sized company, more of a monologue and an homage to the department manager, how great he and his department are. It started when he told me about his work for 30 minutes, how awesome he is, everything that he's achieved, that his department prepares reports directly for the board and so they were basically organised directly under the management (according to his point of view then the secretary must be the acting CEO). After a long 30 minutes came the first question: "Have you applied to other companies?" After an affirmative answer he clicked shut his notebook and said that we could end the conversation at this point, because I apparently lacked motivation. I then answered in a friendly tone that we were living in the 20th century and I would be exceptionally stupid to put my future in the hands of one company for whom I was just an anonymous applicant, often enough you just receive a letter of refusal. I was ultimately invited to a second interview, but I refused, because I have no interest in working for such egomaniacs. Unfortunately it happens in many companies. In the end I took a post in a big consulting firm, where the partner in the interview actually just spoke about the content of my studies, what I expected at work and made a bit of small talk about hobbies. To sum up the application process, I would have preferably just written in my covering letter and said during the job interview that I am a reliable applicant, who works hard for good pay, and who doesn't care whether he is working for a car company or a dog food producer. Sadly I wasn't brave enough which I really regret. If I am ever in charge of personnel and somebody like that applies, that person would be 90% certain to get the job. Oh well, I have a lot of fun at my job, I get on well with my colleagues and I still maintain that the motivation to work has much more to do with the working atmosphere than with the name and the appearance of the company.
Tags: Work Discord

Posted on 14.04.2013, 05:05:11 CET

Football Baby (00000103)
3.0/5 (95 Votes)
Every time that I see a baby or toddler I imagine myself punting the thing like a football or curbing it.

Posted on 05.05.2011, 06:57:36 CET

568 Sins.

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