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Nature's Way Of Family Planning (00000497)
2.8/5 (47 Votes)
When I see a couple with several kids and the youngest is retarded, I think it's Nature's way of telling those parents they've had enough kids.

Posted on 18.06.2013, 01:15:22 CET
Ford Fiesta (00000045)
2.9/5 (96 Votes)
My neighbor drives an old banger of a ford fiesta. The exhaust died a long time ago and the noises coming out of that car are to that effect. Punctual at 5.30 am, when he drives it out of the garage, I am wide awake and upright in my bed. It seems to feel like a small eternity before he, with running engine, has finished saying good bye to his wife and locking the garage . I found out by coincidence that all old ford keys fit in all old fords. You can't open the cars with them, but you can lock them.

So the next Wednesday morning I lay in ambush and waited until my neighbor went back into the house and the car was parked up with running engine. Locking the car with the Ford Mondeo key I had borrowed from my father was a matter of seconds. My neighbor returned and cursed wildly. He couldn't get into the car and there it was, clattering horribly. It got frantic, as the wife couldn't find the spare key either. I was watching the scene from behind my curtains, pissing myself laughing. After about 15 minutes a police car appeared, as apparently one of the other neighbors was fed up with the nightly interruptions. The policemen couldn't access the car either. Since no solution seems to be apparent, I returned to my bed. Only around 7 am it became quiet again. At first I presumed he was out of petrol and peeped out the window. About 10 neighbors, 2 patrol cars & an AA car were gathered outside. I assume it was thanks to the AA guy that my neighbor could finally access his car and switch off the engine. Since than I have gathered that the nasty pertubator had to join the AA for their help and the police fined him with a ticket for disturbance of the peace and a costly failing's card for his car. He changed his exhaust the same day. Since than the world is ok again at 5.30 am.

Posted on 09.07.2009, 11:45:41 CET
Stamp Pad (00000064)
2.8/5 (94 Votes)
I (m/25) played a prank on a co-worker (m/52) that wound up giving me a bad case of remorse. I should add that we don't have a problem with each other and that we frequently kid around. On Friday, half an hour before the start of the weekend, I smushed his telephone receiver on his stamp pad. Luck would have it that as usual someone called him and he was on the phone 10 -15 minutes for sure. His sideburns and his entire ear were a really beautiful green. Unlucky for him, too, he then left 5 minutes early, with the result that nobody encountered him on the way to the car and he drove off like that. I confess this here now, because, considered in hindsight, even I found this prank to be very much borderline.

Posted on 01.10.2009, 22:31:44 CET
Nowhere Man (00000434)
2.7/5 (76 Votes)
I have sold my soul to [...]
This sin is under the protection of minors and can be read only by registered members.

Posted on 14.05.2013, 10:24:17 CET

Slot Machines (00000074)
2.9/5 (130 Votes)
My father was a penny-pinching and rather sarcastic person. So that's why he explained to me as a child, slot machines in bars were for "people with too much money" and that they throw their money in them to get a kick out of the colorful, glowing symbols. I'm now 24 years old, a student, and just found out day before yesterday, that it's actually possible to win money on these machines.

Posted on 02.12.2009, 02:26:37 CET
Place: Pinneberg, Germany

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