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Stamp Pad (00000064)
2.7/5 (107 Votes)
I (m/25) played a prank on a co-worker (m/52) that wound up giving me a bad case of remorse. I should add that we don't have a problem with each other and that we frequently kid around. On Friday, half an hour before the start of the weekend, I smushed his telephone receiver on his stamp pad. Luck would have it that as usual someone called him and he was on the phone 10 -15 minutes for sure. His sideburns and his entire ear were a really beautiful green. Unlucky for him, too, he then left 5 minutes early, with the result that nobody encountered him on the way to the car and he drove off like that. I confess this here now, because, considered in hindsight, even I found this prank to be very much borderline.

Posted on 01.10.2009, 22:31:44 CET
Warm batteries (00000020)
2.9/5 (198 Votes)
When I feel lonely, I disconnect the warm batteries from the charger and hold them against my skin to imitate a human touch.

Posted on 22.08.2007, 16:00:00 CET
MacGyver (00000008)
2.9/5 (159 Votes)
I am quite ugly and people generally don't like me. Against all odds, one night I had the chance to get hot and steamy with a hot lady. Totally drunk, she still insisted on using a condom. Of course I didn't have one. But, being resourceful, I reached for my paper tissues all tissues out, plastic over Willy, cello tape around plastic 3 times and off we went... felt like MacGyver!

Posted on 19.01.2007, 12:03:20 CET
A heart for employees (00000299)
2.7/5 (76 Votes)
I am one of the commissioners in one of the biggest companies in Germany. At present we have around 2000 employees in our office. In order to explain the exact situation, I will describe the ratios and how they are distributed in my department. In my department we have all kinds of subdivisions. Basically we have four higher ranking department managers, who each have between four and six smaller department leaders below them. In this department there are 68 employees. I know every single employee very well, there is a casual tone and a relaxed working environment and working relationships. Even the trainees who do their business management training with me speak to me in an informal manner. Alongside spouses, some of whom I have personally met and got to know, I know all sorts of things about most employees, I keep informed of their familial situation and I lend them a sympathetic ear for their problems which then takes on the form of an appraisal interview. I have just been told by my boss that we are going to cut 12 jobs from my department. In other departments they will cut up to 40 jobs; but they are correspondingly bigger departments anyway. My personal problem with this is that I know each and every one of the employees. At the very least I say a quick hello and goodbye and allow myself a bit of small talk with them. Therefore I have tremendous difficulty in culling employees. Even those who I don't get on with so well are at least very hard workers and irreplaceable in terms of their knowledge. Therefore I went to my boss and told him that it would be absolutely impossible to cut jobs in my department, because we are understaffed as it is. In general that isn't true because we don't get given so much work that everyone is busy for the whole eight to twelve hours. My boss has temporarily accepted it, but I know full well that He will come back to be and want to cut jobs. But I wouldn't dream of letting one of my employees go, because I know them all and they have a little place in my heart. Besides, many of them are parents, which makes the whole thing morally more difficult for me.
Tags: Work Audacity

Posted on 04.03.2013, 20:53:16 CET

Gutted by my Ex (00000165)
2.3/5 (107 Votes)
At 18, I first met my then girlfriend. She had just dropped out of school shortly before finishing for reasons incomprehensible to me, but I didn't really care about it at the time. She was unemployed for about a year and looking to get more education. She started the new education program and a few months later I broke up with her. I felt trapped and had hardly any contact with my friends, parents, and siblings even though I still lived at home. I wish I could say that the story ends here and both lived happily ever after, but it isn't so. After about a month, she was already with someone new. This wasn't a problem for me at all because I didn't have feeling for her anymore. I had hardly any contact with her because we had a different group of friends. About six months after our breakup, we had a chance encounter at a village festival, and we spoke about the past and what was new. During the conversation, we started to fall for each other again. Finally she broke up with her boyfriend and we were a couple again. Here the real horror begins. She always talked a lot in her sleep and so after about a month, she confessed to me while sleeping that she had cheated on me with her ex. I spoke to her about it and she admitted it and assured me that it would never happen again, and after some reflection, I decided to forgive her. This should have been the second red flag, but unfortunately I didn't pay attention to it.

The following month, we tried to forget the past and build trust again. Everything worked, but not like I had imagined at the beginning, and I slowly started to think about leaving her for good. But fate had other things in mind because despite birth control, she got pregnant. Although I didn't want to be a father at 21, it quickly became clear that she wouldn’t abort the child, and I couldn't do anything about it. Because I didn't want my child to grow up without a father, I decided to try to stay with her. We moved in together and she finished her second education program early against my wishes because she was far along in the pregnancy. About a year after the birth of our absolutely adorable son, we got married. At this point I had already resigned myself to spending the rest of my life with a wife I didn't really love, so I loved my son even more. But then came the moment my life completely changed. After only nine months of marriage, she left me shortly after moving in with me. I immediately began to cry, not because of her but because of our child. Without further ado, I went to visit relatives for about four weeks and then moved into my own apartment. When we divided our property, I got the car, and she got the rest. I had to use my parent’s credit to pay for my new apartment and furniture, as well as the divorce that followed.

A few weeks later, she met someone new. Two months after that, she moved in with him along with my son. Three months later, he threw them out and she lived with her parents for two weeks. I now know the reason. My son was just about to have his third birthday, which meant no more spousal support from me and that she would have to find a job. So she had tried with all her might to convince him to have a child. He didn't want to, however, and couldn't trust her with birth control pills or condoms (you can ruin them with a needle), so he ended it. After two weeks with her parents, she moved into a new apartment and met someone new not even two weeks after the move. Three months later, she was pregnant by him and three months after that she moved in with him in a new apartment, and then married him shortly after. Now for my confession: I hate my ex-wife because she forced me into our relationship and gutted me without my noticing. The furniture for all of the apartments together amounted to about 8,000 Euro of my cash, and the wedding for 2,000 Euro of my savings was still relatively cheap. The divorce took another 3,000 Euro from my bank account. Our whole relationship, I worked hard to feed her and our child. Afterwards, I paid her a hefty amount in spousal support for a whole year. I hate her because she's manipulative and bossy. I hate her because she occasionally turns my son against me, she tells him things that I supposedly did, while I don't tell him anything and worry that his little heart won't bear it. I hate her because she convinces him he should persuade me to agree to change his last name to be the same as her new husband. He's four years old now and cries when he's with me because he wants to change his last name, but what should I tell him? That I don't agree with it because I think she'll divorce her husband in two years and then they'll be a new husband and a new child and a new last name? He sits with me and cries because he's already moved six times and has been in three different preschools. This is why I hate my ex-wife. When I'm with her to pick up our kid, I smile and act friendly. I don't want my son to have to see us argue; children from divorced parents have it rough. I also hate her because to this day, I can't be sure if he really is my son, but I'm too scared to do a paternity test. If he wasn’t my son, it would certainly help my financial situation, but I love him so much that I really don’t want to know. While I wait for her to leave her new husband and find a new spouse able to support her, I hope that the time until my son turns 10 or 12 passes quickly. I think he'll be old enough then to understand, to wonder what happened. I hope that he'll come to me then and ask what all took place, and I'll tell him bluntly. Furthermore, I hope that he takes after me and hates his mother just as much as I do. This hope gives me the courage to endure each day. In case it's her reading this, yes, I mean you. Hopefully there's not another person on earth who fits this story. I'm sorry for this extremely long story, but I could definitely add a lot more details. This is really just a rough outline of what was and what will be.

Posted on 25.10.2012, 06:01:16 CET

568 Sins.

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