When I was 10 years old, I lived with my mother and older brother in a rented house inside a bad neighborhood. Our mother was very neglectful.She would lock us in our rooms, sometimes we wouldn't eat dinner for days. We only went out to go to school, really. For me, school has always been a living hell. I was made fun of, hated and ignored. One night my mom went out and left me and my brother alone. A common occurrence, my brother started acting strange. We got in a fight. I forgot what it was about, but he grabbed a knife, chased me around the house, and screamed that our mother abandoned us, and it would be better if she did. Eventually, he backed me up into my room pressed a knife to my throat and started crying, saying that she would only cares about herself, she abandoned me etc. I started to get angry, how dare he thinks that he is the only one in pain, and he is the only one abandoned, and suddenly I didn't even care about the knife, or that he was probably having a mental breakdown. I screamed "She abandoned me too"! He was astounded at my exclamation, dropped the knife, and held me, and we cried all night. But before, when he had me backed up against the wall and he had the knife against my throat, I thought "I want him to kill me, I want it to be over" and I felt awful! To want my own brother to end my life!
Posted on 09.04.2013, 07:51:12 CET