A place to burn old stuff and come out standing up on the top looking good is what I want from this page. Ok guys, I know you are gods here and make my world freaking beautiful. So do your nasty thing and make my world better. Thanks!
I watch adult movies and stir on it, because of the films I watch, my mind is full of dirty images, I always think about it, and everything reminds me of coitus. I am tired of this and wish to repent forever, however I always find myself returning to this and saying sorry repeatedly to God. But I fear that God is tired of forgiving me for this sin, since I always go back to it. I started watching adult movies at the age of 7, so I fear that this might be the reason why it's such a hard habit to break. I got so use to it. I am truly sorry. I don't want to be like this anymore. I am tired of feeling guilty afterwards and then having to face Jesus, knowing that he saw everything because he is everywhere, how shameful it is of me. If it is possible, please send a prayer up for me, asking God to free me from this spirit of lust.
Though my success with women was previously mediocre at best, I (m/20) have made a 180 degree turn, since finishing my studies. You would be astonished at how the eyes of some women widen when they hear that you're an investment banker, and even more when you arrive with an expensive car and a nice suit. Women who wouldn't have glanced at me before wink at me and talk to me. At first I really enjoyed it but I have come to a point where the world of women makes me sick. Some of you will surely think that it is just about skanks, but it happens in every group of women. Some look for an idiot to buy their drinks, the others look for idiots to finance their house in the country and a convertible.
To my confession: For some time I have been exploiting this and said things to women while hooking up: that I was only pretending that I had money; that I am still a student and intern and the car just belongs to a friend who I live with. You would be amazed how quickly a woman can disappear. At the moment I am seriously considering buying an old Golf and going round looking for a wife wearing just jeans and a t-shirt.
Once, a woman stood next to me at the traffic lights. When I saw that no cars were coming, I began to walk across the road on a red light. The woman, who at this point was standing in the same place as me, asked if the traffic lights were already green, whereupon I, because I took it for a telling-off, snapped at her asking if she thought she was my mother. When she then explained that she was blind, my heart sank into my boots. I ran back to her, apologized a thousand times and said that I hadn't noticed, and that the light was still red.
Even today I am embarrassed when I think of this story, even though I really didn't realise and since then I have taken it upon myself to pay more attention to my surroundings and not behave so arrogantly to fellow human beings.
I miss my ex boyfriend like no other. I may have committed the sin of idolatry or whatever, but I really don't think that was the case. I miss him terribly, and he just gleefully walks past me, and makes it seem like he is okay. He is hurting too. I know, we have the same thoughts all the time. I don't know why he avoids me when he can just come back. I'm waiting. It's just really painful right now. Maybe I will be aching for a while, but I trust Jesus Christ, that His comfort is more precious than the sound of the voice of a lover. I am tired. Will my heart stop aching? Come quickly Lord, sing psalms over me. I am desperate for You. Ignite my heart to love You, and to serve You without any conditions.
I work in a large company with about 120 employees and the company provides us with free drinks. These are in bottles with a 25 cent return deposit. At some point I noticed that the bottles are not returned and are just thrown into big garbage cans. So now every few nights I go to these containers and stuff 3-4 blue bags full of these bottles. It's a nice secondary income and I bring in an extra 200 Euros a month just because everyone is too lazy to return the bottles. It rightfully belongs to me.
When I was younger, I would get bullied a lot. Maybe because I was chubby, or maybe not. I don't remember. The girls who bullied me were really mean. So one day, I punched them both in the stomach, and scratched their faces out of the yearbook. Stupid as I was, being only in second grade, I told the teacher there was a fly on their stomachs, and that I scratched their faces out because I accidentally scribbled on it. I was really dumb, but come on, for a second grader saying "There was a fly on their stomach" was pretty clever wasn't it?
I am painter by profession, and I masturbate into the white paint. I think the paint is shining more brightly because of it. I'm spunking into the white paint, my customers are extremely satisfied and always say how shiny the white walls are. They call me a magician and are recommending me all around. I have more work than I can compete, my dairy is full until the end of times and they keep coming. I'm delighted; even so I am living with a lie.
In 7th grade, I told my classmate about a friend I had seen yesterday, thought he was pretty cool, and that I might see him more often. It turned out my classmate knew the friend so she wanted me to give a very important letter to him. I didn't question it, and never thought to because she told me it was personal but it was very urgent that he got it. So, on my way home with the letter my mother had told me that the day we were flying to move had been rescheduled to tomorrow because the flight that we were originally planning to take had been cancelled, or something like that. So, I put the letter in a box with all my little belongings, and told my neighbor who goes to my school to apologize to my classmate. So we move, and now 8 years from then, 2 months ago, my mother wanted to thoroughly clean the attic since summer is coming and she wanted to have more room. So I sit there for hours and I come across an envelope, with notebook paper folded inside with the front labeled "TO: (name withheld)" It took me a few minutes to realize that, that was the letter to my friend from my classmate. I figured since it's been almost 8 years I can read it. So I read it and basically it was saying how my classmate thinks she got pregnant from one of her friends because the condom was broken when they finished having sex. Also that she knows how my friend's father works at a drug store and she wanted him to steal some birth control for her to prevent anything. She didn't want her father to know because he might beat her so she desperately needs the birth control. I feel horrible. I don't know if it was true and I know it's 8 years too late but I feel horrible that I didn't give it to another friend to deliver it.
I'm easily influenced by my friends. I told myself that I shouldn't do it but I did. There was just so much anger in me. She was one of my best friends, and we're totally still tight. That was when I was young, though. I never told her because I feel like if I did she would look down on me for following her terrible example. I was just hating on my sister that day, my 3 years older than me sister who thought that she knew everything. My friend had told me it was funny. I thought it was funny. The deal was done. I lifted up the toilet seat and shoved her toothbrush in the toilet. Swished it around some. I put my sister's toothbrush, inside of the freshly urinated-in toilet. Someone save my soul.
Four years ago, as part of a school exchange program, I (m/20) was in Wroclaw, Poland. Once there, we were assigned to an exchange partner. Everyone hoped to get a cool partner in order to hopefully be cool too. Unfortunately, I was assigned to a totally stuffy, boring guy, but he was very nice and helpful. I was even allowed to sleep in the same room as his sister during the exchange. The first evening, all of the exchange pairs went to a party, but unfortunately not my couch-potato partner and me. Naturally, this annoyed me, and I withdrew fairly quickly into his sister's room. Then I rummaged carefully through the clothes and closets, until I felt an indefinable, but powerful urge for relief. I don't remember why, but I had to jerk off and I had a crazy desire to masturbate into a pair of said exchange sister's socks. After successfully completing the work, I felt shamed and disgusted, but I still tucked the socks back into the deepest depths of the draw and hoped that no one would find them there.
After half a year, it was time to go home, everything went great. I even got a huge bag of gifts, which I only opened after my exchange partner left - luckily. I had long forgotten my unpleasant incident the first night in Poland, but only until I opened the huge gift bag. I was initially happy with the Poland shirts and Vodka, but then I discovered a transparent bag, which literally had this in it: the now yellow, sticky pair of socks that I now saw for the second time. I wish I would have sunk into the ground. I repent.
I'm (f) 33 years old and work as a German and History teacher in a grammar school in Germany, which, named after a famous German writer, specializes in different languages. Sounds great, but it actually means nothing. The school is hardly different from any other, apart from maybe the technology facilities. In every unassuming room hangs a Smart board, which many of my older colleagues can't get to grips with. The boards can't be used without the technology, so if the technology fails, the teaching is pure improvisation. What's the use in all this apparently helpful technology and the Net books for IT classes? This school is in a sink estate. I have nothing against foreign pupils or students from poorer backgrounds, but even the younger years take a dim view of learning. Nobody wants to do homework, study, or even just listen, let alone take part. The higher up the school you go, the percentage of students who have to repeat a year increases. I have to answer questions like "what does reinforce mean?" coming from 16 year-olds. Recently, a girl in year 8 asked if Europe was a continent!
I am driven to despair by my job. The parents shift the blame onto the teachers for bad grades, the teachers lose their drive, and each year, the students get more and more stupid. They know how to use the Smart board, but they have no idea whether the Weimar Republic (which was a liberal democratic republic in Germany) was a dictatorship or not. Once, I was so pissed off, that I threw a piece of cucumber at a pupil. I was extremely embarrassed, but it was generally assumed that I was joking. I just can't see why I should waste my time preparing an interesting, varied lesson for a bunch of primitive apes that aren't capable of concentrating for more than five seconds. So this is what I have done, although it upsets me, because I didn't study for years to do this: I have intentionally become every pupil's nightmare. I give out homework every day; I force the children to stand up when I come into the classroom. As soon as anyone speaks out of turn, that pupil goes straight outside and gets a "D" whoever hasn't finished their essay or presentation gets a letter to their parents. I know that instilling fear isn't the best way to teach, but lately it has been wonderfully quiet. I carefully read finished homework without getting into a fuss. I think I'll carry on torturing the pupils a while longer, and when they have internalized their good behavior, I will be a bit more lenient. When I was at school, I liked those teachers most, and I learnt best from them.
Back when I was around fourteen, my best friend got her first "boyfriend." According to her, he was Mr. Wonderful, he lived in the city, he was 17, and he was super cute. Yeah yeah. Well, what I began noticing after a few weeks of her "relationship" was that 1.) I'd never met/seen the kid before, and 2.) every time I'd go to her house, she would have "just hung up with him" and would never let me speak with him. After a while, I started secretly catching her in lies. After about two months of this, I had completely convinced myself that he was made up, and after a while, I found out that I'd been right, though she still wont admit it. Her first kiss, her first time, everything had been a lie! Why on earth would she think I would care If she was still a virgin? Her "relationship" lasted roughly 10 months, which is a long time for a real relationship for a fourteen year old, but I suppose that if only one person exists in the relationship, you can do whatever you want. She still doesn't know that I know.