I have set up a screenshot of the with all symbols as desktop background on the PC of a mate of mine. After that, I hid all the symbols, moved the taskbar to the top of the screen and hid it as well. After hours of him trying to work it out and failing and I was unfortunately neither in any position to help him, he had to re-install.
I have a typewriter that I've actually been wanting to sell. The attempt really didn't make any sense, nobody takes a typewriter off one's hands these days. But there is high demand for the online auction pictures. Why? I saved them in a folder and named it "Horny Teen Chick" After that, provided access on our student dormitory's network and added a hit counter. Until now, "she's" had 900 clicks, that's almost double the clicks as there are possible users. About 500 students live in our dormitory, all networked. I'd really like to know who keeps clicking on it to stare at the typewriter. For that reason, I still haven't given up the hope of one of these days selling the typewriter; maybe soon someone will actually marry her.
The hotel on last weeks holiday in L.A. serves it's guests their dinner on walking buffet.
Unfortunately, only one bottle of ketchup is available for all the tables. There is always a long line. Typically, when it was my turn to use the ketchup, the bottle was empty and I had to open a new one. It was one of those bottles where you have to remove a security film before the ketchup squirts out through the opening. While I'm busy opening the bottle I overhear the guy behind me saying to his girlfriend: "That idiot should hurry up, it takes so long, unbearable." He probably never thought of the fact that I could be from Germany too. Once started, he kept going making nasty remarks; eventually he started giving out about my beard. I maintain a 3 days beard which I treasure highly.
This was topping it, I almost lost it and really wanted to kick his ass. With effort, I could control myself; I really did not want any trouble with the police in the United States.
So, after having opened the bottle successfully, I directed the opening sneakily into his direction and hit the bottle as hard as I could. Most of the ketchup contained in the bottle splashed over him, from head down to his belt. He looked like he saw cows climbing trees and I really had to refrain from laughing, saying: " Oops, this idiot should have paid more attention". At this point his girlfriend started laughing really hard and I walked away. I felt a bit sorry having lost control after all and descending down to his level, but I did enjoy the action.
On a cold winter's eve, I (m/22) wanted to meet my buddy at the shopping center for a little shopping. We both had only bikes in those days, and he'd arrived earlier than me and had already locked up his bike. Since I regrettably did not have a lock, I quickly ran inside to let him give me the key to his lock. Ran out again, locked my bike to his and then went to make the round through the arcade with him. After an hour we were ready to take off and went out again. Shock, my bike was gone! His stood there by its lonesome. At some point it dawned on me that I had locked my bike up somewhere completely different. Then I ran to said location and, see, there stood my bike by itself and unlocked. It appears that I attached my bike accidentally to a strange one and that by chance the key fit. I can just imagine the guy lying in his bed evenings, trying to figure out why somebody would do something like that. If you don't know the real reason, it can't make any sense whatsoever.
When I was 5 years old, I got my first loose tooth and naturally wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible. I bit down hard into an apple. Regrettably, I swallowed the small piece of apple with the tooth embedded in it. My father then explained to me that it would emerge when I sat on the toilet. Over the next few days I wanted to have the tooth and tried passing it, but succeeded only while in my kindergarten. So I brought a nice, fat, brown clump to the kindergarten lady, asking her to find the tooth for me, and then I went back to playing. I confess that because of me that poor woman probably had the worst coffee break of her life.
After a night out my girlfriend and I snuck into her room in her parents house. It's right next to her parents bedroom. We had sex and tried to be as quiet as possible as usually I don't stay overnight. I was just taking her doggy style, and she was about to cum, when her head hit the wall quite loudly a couple of times. Her parents must have heard something cause all of the sudden they were standing in the room, gawking at us with sleepy faces. We really did not know what to hide or cover first. The image of me, taking their daughter doggy style must have been burnt into their brains for ever.
I'm (m/25) not very good with kids. It shows in various ways, for instance, I won't do that stupid baby talk, but I talk with kids normally just as with adults and I usually also tell it like it is. A couple of years ago, I had just left the university campus and on the way had stopped in a supermarket to buy beer, a young (pretty good-looking) mother and her little son queued up behind me. He was just old enough to walk and say a few words, and he was bouncing back and forth between the overpriced sweets next to the check-out counter and his mama. I had just paid, and there was the little rascal, looking up at me, pulling on my jacket, and asking "Papa"? I was in shock for a moment before concluding that he was wrong. Before answering, as calm as could be I looked his mother up and down (she was waiting to see how I would react) and then said: "Sorry, little guy, that's something I certainly would have remembered." Apparently, that's not what she had expected; she stood there, fixed to the spot and blushing. The cashier started to laugh out loud, and I went home, grinning.
During a stroll through my forest, I came across a mole, sitting disorientated along the path. The surrounding ground did not look like he could dig into there easily. Feeling sorry for him, I brought him along and re-homed him to a nice lush ground where he started digging and disappeared swiftly. Where the place was? My neighbor's garden.
My father was a penny-pinching and rather sarcastic person. So that's why he explained to me as a child, slot machines in bars were for "people with too much money" and that they throw their money in them to get a kick out of the colorful, glowing symbols. I'm now 24 years old, a student, and just found out day before yesterday, that it's actually possible to win money on these machines.
A short while ago I was in one of the two big burger chains near us; to be exact, in the one with the crown. I ordered, ate and then had to go to the bathroom. In front of the bathroom sits a woman who is known to let only customers inside, unless you pay her 50 cents. The restaurant is located in a railroad station. Well, I had eaten, so the bathroom should be free for me. The good woman didn't see it that way, however, and asked to see the receipt from my meal. Naturally, I hadn't let them give me a receipt for my 6.79€ fast food restaurant meal. Without giving it a lot of thought, reflexively one might say, I belched into the good woman's face, adding nicely, "As you can surely smell: Big King XXL with bacon, very fresh." After that, I was allowed to use the bathroom without charge, as I deserved. Shortly before I had been to an interview at a bank. It looked to me like it went pretty well, and I had high hopes for the position. That hope dwindled drastically for me after the incident with the john lady. As I found out after using the toilet, the gentleman in the line behind me was the man who I had sat across from for the job interview just an hour earlier. Today I got turned down.
A few years ago, when I was 15, on my way home from my bus stop as usual. I had already noticed a boy a few times who bullied his peers. I was really angry with him. He bullied one boy, for example, because he was fat. Another kid was fairly small and wore glasses, and he often threw him off his bike or blocked his way home. They were his age. Those kind of kids really annoy me, the ones that bully people without any background knowledge. The fat boy, for example, had battled leukemia for hears and became fat because of his medication. He still has to take it today, but he is healthy. He damn well canâ€™t help it, exactly like the other boy. Both boys hadn't done anything to the guy and unfortunately let him do anything to them. On the day I mentioned, the bully surpassed anything that had happened before. I had often told him to leave them alone, but because I was a woman and often elegantly dressed, I think he didn't take me seriously. I walked a few meters away from them and heard everything start up again. I was so furious that there were tears in my eyes. I turned around. grabbed the boy, took him by the collar, and after screaming at him hit him with all my heart he was thrown down, and kicked him again. His "friends" laughed themselves silly and his "victim" couldn't suppress his laughter either. He stood up almost crying and ran home, looking back every now and then to see if I was following him.
Since then, I think he's left the kids in peace that I've never noticed anything again anyway. I admit that I stooped to his level, but it was worth it. He wasn't responding to words. I haven't told anyone about this because I avoid violence and I can't really be proud of what I did. It just simply had happened, and I ask for forgiveness.
One day, when I was in 11th grade my classmates and I smoked a stick during lunch break and came back to class completely and utterly spaced out. Unfortunately I fell foul to a babble attack 5 minutes into class and spend the rest of the time talking to my teacher. At the end of the session, she pulled me aside and told me she gave me the best grade for my verbal attention today.