I always have had issues. I trust no one, and I always have hidden my true self trying to be someone else trying to be stronger than I am, but what kills me is the fact that I'm weak, I put up a strong front so no one worries, but at the same time no one knows me for who I am. I try to be myself but the barrier I have put between myself and people always hold me back, and the main reason for my distrust is my fear of people, mainly men because they are bigger and stronger than I could ever be, seeing as I am a woman, and plus the fact that I have been made fun of buy men my entire life. My life has become a hell that I do not wish to live anymore, and I do know I sound terrible and if I told the world it would mock me because I'm so young. So I have tried to kill myself many times, I tried to hang myself, slit my wrists, overdose but I haven't found a good drug yet and no one has noticed no one ever pays attention if they had they would have noticed the small cuts barely noticeable anymore on my wrists or the slight bruises on my neck that I tried to cover up. Soon enough I will buy sleeping pills and just swallow them all and go to sleep and end my pitiful existence no one noticed anything and it will probably be a surprise to them but most people wont even notice if I just disappeared, so I just wanted to say goodbye and make sure at least a few people knew even if they don't know who I am and we've never met just goodbye.
Posted on 09.07.2013, 11:25:02 CET
Place: Port Kamilletown